Sunday, June 1, 2014

Since the release of our exposé on the trifling, philandering UDP Chairman, Alberto August has been trying to do damage control – but his efforts have failed miserably. Details of his escapades continue to tumble out his closet. Let’s just say, the chairman has been caught (literally) with his pants down.

Reports of children that he fathered with a prostitute from Melchor Guatemala to him engaging in a ménage a trios with Wave Radio personalities Alfonso Noble and Joe Bradley, to chasing behind Shawn Pacheco and lying to his wife Nyani Azueta-August about it and his multiple personalities on Facebook to harass critics of the UDP government are only a few of the nastiness to topple from the dirty old man’s closet.

And a dirty old man he is! August is 51 years OLD – but he’s been giving age as much younger. The only person he’s fooled are Shawn Pacheco and Nyani. We could see those creases in his face from a mile off! Those age lines can be seen from space!

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We have no other than the beautiful Shawn Pacheco to thank for exposing that scumbag for who he really is. Simply put, Alberto August is slime. We thought at first that it was a good thing to hear of him being amorous with women since we know all too well of his penchant to brutalize women. But a dirtbag is a dirtbag is a douchebag.

August has been trying to act cool like it’s much a do about nothing. In fact it seems that this scandal has preoccupied his time and taken away from his crazed campaign. Hate to break it to the slime but this ain’t going anywhere any time soon.

On Saturday evening Shawn Pacheco released a picture of a new tattoo she’s hoping to get to cover up the tat, she has on her breast with August’s full name. We say, “go Shawn – erase that bad dream from your life girl!” Shawn is young and beautiful and let’s just say – we see why August was smitten.

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Another firestorm has erupted since the release of the new sketch for Shawn’s new tattoo.

“MR. ALBERTO AUGUST WENT FROM CAYO STAR TO PORN STAR, HIS LATEST LOVE SAGA WITH THE BEAUTIFUL MISS SHAWN PACHECO HAS BEEN ON THE FOREFRONT OF THE SOCIAL MEDIA LATELY. AUGUST AKA STAR (PORN STAR) HIS ADULTERER LIFESTYLE PUTS TO SHAME EVEN ICONIC AMERICAN LOVE LIFE SAGAS LIKE DAYS OF OUTLIVES. BELIZEANS IN A WHOLE HAVE NOW AWAKEN TO SEE HOW THE UDP CHAIRMAN (PORN STAR) HAS AMASS SO MUCH WEALTH IN SUCH LITTLE TIME AS A POLITICAL OPERATIVE WITHIN THE UDP.

HIS DNA AS A VULGAR AND DIRTY POLITICIAN HAS EARNED HIM NO SYMPATHY FROM THE POPULIST IN REGARDS OF HIS ADULTERER LIFESTYLE NOW MADE PUBLIC. BMC IS MAKING SURE THAT MR AUGUST PERSONAL LIFE IS MADE AS PUBLIC AS POSSIBLE SINCE KARMA IS A BITCH AND HE DESERVES EVERY BIT OF HUMILIATION AS POSSIBLE FOR ALL THE INNOCENT PEOPLE HE HAS HURT.

IT SEEMS MISS SHAWN HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THIS DIRT BAG AUGUST AKA PORN STAR , AND HAS FOUND A WAY TO COVER THE NAME OF PORNSTAR AUGUST AND REMOVE ALL MEMORIES OF HIM . BRAVO BRAVO MISS BEAUTIFUL SHAWN PACHECO!” one person commented.

August’s comeback was as lame as his d^^k (we heard). “Thank God this lady has come to her senses and is rectifying her error. Then I ask: What other weird character might emerge from among you and do something equally if not more outrageous. One thing remains constant, these attempts has ZERO effect on my family life. If that is the intent then rest assured, every single attempt WILL fail.”

Troubled, August sent another response, this time admitting to his “lifestyle”. We couldn’t make this up if we tried. “Thank you for informing that you will keep track of my lifestyle. It will only serve to make me a better person. Be ever mindful however that while you are expending the only life you have watching mine, yours might be falling apart.”

So the dirty old man knows he has a problem. Now that he’s confessing, we’d like to know what “lifestyle” he speaks of – the wife beater, the swinger or the creeper?

And then he went nuts again. “And while you are expending your time keeping track of my personal life, please be informed that lots of positive developments are taking place across the nation. Did you know for example, that history is in the making in Santa Elena, Cayo as the community is getting ready for the construction of its first ever cement Street. YES!!! The cementing of the entire length of Bishop Martin Street, an 800 thousand dollar project, is about to commence. So while you are expending your energies minding my business, we are taking care of the people’s business to secure a historic third term in government.”

All this time, no one was saying anything to August. For someone who likes to diagnose the mental state of others, it seems that it’s the chairman who needs to get his heads checked…yes….both heads!

His final installation. “And on a VERY final note, where you are expending your energies watching my lifestyle, your party a few weeks ago organized a meeting of its women’s group attended by a maximum of 60 PUP women countywide which a room in your party HQ was enough to accommodate while yesterday’s meeting of UDP women countrywide, attracted over 600 UDP women which was far more than any single room could accommodate necessitating the whole lawn at the House of Culture in Belize City. So while you are watching my personal, yours is totally irrelevant to any of us in the powerful UDP. Please, continue watching my personal life. The leaders of your party must be proud of such being your contribution to its effort at re-election.”

At NBZLive we don’t know anything about the inner workings of any of the political parties in Belize but we will say this, Alberto August is bad news for the UDP and as time progresses more unsavory stories will come out. The UDP will be better off ditching him before it’s too late.